The Best Years of Our Lives

He Watches Over Us As He Walks Away
March 21, 2010, 3:30 pm
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February 4, 2010

He is an all right sort. He does not let you know what you do not need to know and he does not let you know anything. There is no need to know basis because he does not know so what is there to know after all.

He is an odd sort. He tells you to stop writing and listen to what he saying when he is talking to you. When he is talking to you he wants you to write things down as it is important to remember what he says.

He is a quiet sort. He does not want to hear what is contradictory or what is inconsistent from others. He does not want to tell you what where how when how much or anything like that as you should know.

He is a wanton sort. He has had enough of all of this and that is that and all that and he wants guidance and supervision and instruction and accountability and he wants none of it to ever happen all at the same time.

He is a wondrous sort.

No he is not.

Not really.



I Felt As If My Life Were In Danger – Pt. 2
January 27, 2010, 6:25 pm
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January 7, 2010

I’m not numb or denying anything. I’m not even used to it. I don’t judge and I don’t react. I don’t pretend and I don’t use any defense mechanisms to circumvent or deflect anything. I don’t fact it and I don’t just let things go. I don’t look for hidden meaning and I don’t have false hope. I don’t have hope and I am not hopeless. I am not a clock-watcher or a tale teller or a back stabber or a money grabber or a stool pigeon or a rat jumping ship. I have no reason to stay and every reason to stay. I have all the friends I will ever need and I have no one. I make enough money to get by and I don’t have a thing. I do not teeter on the abyss and I do not take for granted anything. I am suspicious or no one. I expect nothing from anyone. I am not disappointed by anyone. I am surprises by everything behind me and before me and I know exactly what is going to happen because I’ve seen it all before and I can’t wait for it to hit me again. There is nothing to be afraid of. I felt nothing. My life is free. I was in the thick of it. I am in danger.

What Matters Most
November 29, 2009, 8:31 pm
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It’s a family and it’s not a family. These are my friends and these are not my friends. These are associates of mine.

It’s a job and it passes time. This is what I do when I am not working. These are the things that you do for them.

You’re so close you have no context. You’re inside and you see nothing around you. You want them to feel love.

Kindness and congestion from room to room down the hall hands throw things at people and friends bite friends.

The mediocre are spared the harsh word and encouraged to play their wares to a room of neutral bored faces.

Sides are picked and the stable is loaded with cattle in the horse stalls, pigs sleep with the chickens, dogs run away.

There’s a certain unevenness that causes nothing to stand up for very long. It falls enough to prop itself back up.

It’s fair and it’s not fair. The rule is that there will not be rules. The people are in charge of things that do not know.